It's a Trap Tuesday! Family Guy Edition

Seeking Tranquility

I've wanted to run an Eberron campaign ever since it was first released so many years ago. The problem was I couldn't think of a way of doing the setting justice. It was obvious that this wasn't just another D&D world like so many others. Eberron had a tone to it that wasn't typical of the pseudo medieval Europe or the swords and sorcery feel of Conan. I was excited by the fresh take on fantasy it offered but daunted by what I was supposed to do with it. Today I think I have a much better idea of how I would run a campaign set here. Perhaps if 5e proves interesting I'll run it one day with that system, if not theres the possibility of Savage Worlds. Anyway below is a possible campaign model that mashes Eberron and Firefly that gets my gaming engine in high gear.



     

Tranquility

An Eberron Dungeons & Dragons Campaign

Tone

Pulp action and adventure

Role of the Heroes

Your characters are all natives of the kingdom of Cyre. Once you fought for your nation and the man beside you during the Last War. Two years ago, on what is known as the Day of Mourning, the still mysterious event that destroyed Cyre in one horrible day signalled the end of a century of war and transformed the once proud kingdom into a dangerous nightmare land known as the Mournlands. Homeless and country less, you and your closest comrades became something more than just brothers in arms, you became family. Today you and your adopted family crew the “Tranquility”, a old Fire Sprite class of cargo airship. The Tranquility represents freedom. Freedom to choose your own path. Freedom from the horrors of the Last War. A chance to do some good. While she is constantly in need of maintenance, you and your crew mates do whatever it takes to keep flying the in the skies of Eberron.   

The Hell's Attic Campaign Model

"Yesterday, here in the middle of the City, I saw a wolf turn into a Russian ex-gymnast and hand over a business card that read YOUR OWN PERSONAL TRANSHUMAN SECURITY WHORE! STERILIZED INNARDS! ACCEPTS ALL CREDIT CARDS to a large man who wore trained attack cancers on his face and possessed seventy-five indentured Komodo Dragons instead of legs. And they had sex. Right in front of me. And six of the Komodo Dragons spat napalm on my new shoes."

-Spider Jerusalem

Summary in Brief

Apocalyptic ultraviolence and survival horror in the far future. In other words Imagine the spawn of the aborted mind fetuses of Lovecraft, Tarantino, Hunter S. Thompson, and William Gibson congealed into a chilled monkey brain dessert served by cannibal werewolf woman of the SS.

Campaign Background

Theres a place in the far future in the Tempest System called Hells Attic. You can check in but you can never check out. Unless its in a body bag, then you could check out at just about any time in this war zone. The PC's take on the role of under world scum trying to survive in a dog eat dog world. Everyone has an angle. There is no law and some times the light burns brightest in the darkest of places.

The Role of the Characters

Who you are: You are the outcasts of a society who no longer needs you. You've been trampled over by a stampede of grotesque dystopian nightmares called progress. Your the product of a of society that has systematically dined on your corpse and then spat your balls out.You are the losers, who can never get or hold down a real job and whose only prospects are having nothing left to lose. Your left with the choice to fade away or burn out in a blaze of glory. The only question thats worth answering is will the Underhive of Prospero swallow you whole, leaving no trace of your existence? Or do you have a plan? A plan to get rich or die trying?

What you do: Anything you have to. A better question would be what don’t you do. Murder for hire ? Sure. Rescue a CEO's daughters from the clutches of drug dealers turned revolutionary? All in a nights work. Hunt down a insane doctor's latest escaped human centipede project. Pfft, please, how about something a little more challenging? Survival is paramount. Everything else is gravy. A good day is the one you don't die. Your a criminal. Well you'd be a criminal if there were cops down here. Theres just the law of the jungle and the survival of the fittest. Between the booze, bullets, and blow you live. You live like tomorrow might never come.

Where you do it: The Mega City of Prospero is a massive relatively clean and pristine city. It is an architects wet dream. It is the city of the future. Skyscrapers defy gravity, clean energy powers the city and the maglev trains run on time. The body looks healthy. But deep below the pristine sheen of glass and the white gloss of synth-marble and perma-crete lies the festering cancer that is Hell's Attic. This sprawling hive city crawls with all manner of people, monsters, assholes, and other undesirable or just plain unidentifiable things. If the metaphysical Hell of religion actually existed then the Attic would be the next closest thing short of actually dying first. In fact I'm pretty sure the Biblical Hell is probably a lot nicer.

When yo do it: Whenever the fuck you want. Welcome to the 26^th century mother fuckers. Party like it's 2513, because it is, in fact that year. Hey maybe your luck will pick up and next year will be better. For the time being shit is pretty well fucked.

Why you do it: For the rush. Because you want your money for nothing and your chicks for free. Because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Because sometimes We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

The 10 Traits of an Hells Attic campaign

1. Everyone has an agenda. Once you figure this out you'll suffer a lot less heartbreaks.
   
2. Theres some fucking weird shit in the Attic. Seriously. Fucking. Weird. Shit.
   
3. Sometimes your enemies are your only friends. Poor you.
   
4. Sometimes the real monsters are human. Sometime the monsters are really nice.
   
5. Never trust a mutant, and defiantly never feed one after midnight. You've been warned.
   
6. Tin foil hats will stop the psychics from reading your thoughts . If you believe this your really fucked.
   
7. Always have a plan B and a roll of duct tape. Plan B being bullets. Theres very little bullets and duct tape cant fix.
   
8. Information is power. Always check your sources, then check em again.
   
9. Never join a cult. Well join a cult if you want. Just don't be surprised when you find yourself tied up and on the receiving end of a strap-on conga line.
   
10. When in doubt get a really big gun that holds a lot of bullets. Preferably silver bullets.

Special thanks to Noisms at his Monsters and Manuals blog for this post that motivated me amongst others of his on CP2020 to write write this post. Thanks man, love your blog, you rock! As Happy Harry Hard On says Stay Hard everyone.