One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” -Hunter S. Thompson


Saturday, March 16, 2013

A Righteous Infliction of Links Manifested by an Appropriate Agent

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it ? The I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you ? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".                                                   
                                                        -Brick Top (Snatch)

What a bloody brilliant movie Snatch was. Not that the former has anything to do with this post nor the mini review of the NEMESIS rpg that you can read HERE. No what this post is about is me doing you ORE game masters a favour. Below are a bunch of links I thought might prove useful for the NEMESIS system all in one handy dandy place. No thanks needed, thats just how I roll hombres. In particular the links to the character sheets will prove pretty useful since the core rules don't seem to include any. The NEMESIS in a nutshell from the totally rad Swords Against the Outer Dark blog looks like it will also come in pretty handy. If your reading this and you have any additional links let me know and I can add them to the list.

NEMESIS RPG Tools & Links

Friday, March 15, 2013

Innsmouth Porn

By Cribs from deviantART
No word of a lie. I was checking out my Blogger stats and one of the keywords for finding my blog was Innsmouth Porn. Dude. That's just messed up. So I felt obliged to rectify that particular situation. So there you go you filthy pervs. Enjoy your Innsmouth Porn.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

My New Nemesis


Published in 2006, NEMESIS is a generic horror RPG that uses a hybrid of the One Roll Engine (ORE) rules from Godlike, and the Madness Meter from Unknown Armies. Created by Greg Stolze and Dennis Detwiller this 52 page PDF can be Downloaded free of charge HERE.

The rules are an interesting twist on dice rolling mechanics. The One Roll Engine utilizes solely d10s and is designed to provide all the information needed in one roll. Task resolution is done by rolling a dice pool (maximum 10 dice). Dice pools are created by taking the skill you want to use (skills are rated in dice with human average of 1-5) and adding dice from from one of six associated ability scores (the 6 scores are rated in dice with human average of 1-5). Success is determined by making matches. The height and width of your roll determines how successful you are at an action. Width equals how many matching dice you have, hight equals how high those matches are. So for example if you rolled a pool of 8 dice (for example 4 for the Body ability, 4 for Martial Arts skill) and got a 4, 7, 8, 4, 6, 9, 4, 1, your roll would be noted as 3 x 4 or a width of 3 and a height of 4.

The other interesting mechanic is the Madness Meter. This was first seen in the Unknown Armies RPG and functions as a way of tracking a characters mental health. There are four gauges that track: Violence, the Unnatural, Self, and Helplessness. Characters can become hardened to sanity blasting effects or become unstable and descend into madness. I feel like this system helps emulate real life mental trauma better than say the Call of Cthulhu sanity system.

The core mechanic is relatively simple and with additional rules adding layers of complexity. The system itself seems to lend itself to tinkering and seems like they would be able to handle most if not all genres without a problem. While technically there seems to be enough here to run a game and its available free I personally feel like the NEMESIS document is incomplete. It feels like there should be a little more meat on this things bones. A minor thing but I feel it bears mentioning. Lastly these days I find myself more and more of the mind that RPGs should be setting specific as opposed to being generic. Again just an opinion. Lastly there is a Call of Cthulhu/Godlike Conversion Document available for download that would work well as a guide for converting the massive back catalog of Chaosium material out there.

Final thoughts. This seems like a very cool system. I feel like it captures that line between the crunch and rules light system I'm looking for. I defiantly wanna tinker around with the rules a bit and see what I can do with them. In particular I think they would make a great replacement in a Call of Cthulhu campaign.    

Friday, March 8, 2013

My Lovecraftian Menstrual Cycle


I've been on a Cthulhu kick lately. This seems to happen on a regular basis. I seem to suffer from some kind of horrid Lovecraftian menstrual cycle. When it hits me I feel a crawling in my gut, a cold shrivelling of my balls as they retract inside me, and a feverish hammering in my head that threatens to tear the womb of my imagination apart, and bleed horrible half-formed mutant ideas on the floor. These ideas reek of rotten fish and non-euclidean geometrical dimensions, slick with the after birth of knowledge mankind was not meant to know...

Gross. I know. Being me is hard.

This most recent bout was brought on when I made a few RPG purchases at my favourite PDF one stop shop Drive Thru RPG. I picked up from ARC Dream Publishing:



Now my mind is on fire with ideas that I would like to share in the coming days in the form of sperated blog posts. So what can you readers expect ?

First up Delta Green. I'd like to do a review on each of the PDFs DG:Targets of Opportunity, and DG:Eyes Only. Secondly I had some thoughts and ideas on how I would go about setting up a Delta Green campaign.

Secondly I wanted to write about Call of Cthulhu and the Escape from Innsmouth campaign. Why and what does this have to do with anything aside from being Lovecraftian ? Well I'll get into that in it's own blog post. The short answer is that because Delta Green has it's origins in the Raid on Innsmouth. Whenever I think of running Delta Green my thoughts invariably come back to Escape from Innsmouth. Now I have some ideas on how I would like to run this and things I would do to make this a totally awesome and memorable campaign.

Lastly the NEMESIS rpg (A.K.A the horror version of the one roll engine game system, or Dark ORE). The system is free and I'll let you know what I think of it, and how/why I plan on using it in the future. I will also cover horror roleplaying in general, my experiences with the genre in the past and what I'd like to experiment with in the future.

The ultimate goal here is to provide other GMs with ideas that they could use to run there own games, and provide some useful information. Some of this is me trying to document some experimental ideas I want to try out. All in all I have a good 3 to 6 blog posts lined up here that should be useful to others as opposed to me talking out of my ass here for the sake of hearing my own voice.

In the mean time pass the Elder Sign strength Midol. I'm feeling another wave of cramps coming on of the Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young variety. 

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Lazy Sunday - Lo Pan Style

I found this video over at Advanced Dungeons and Parenting. Being a fan of the oh so classic film Big Trouble in Little China (and really who isn't?) I just had to share it. I found it pretty funny, your milage may vary. Have a gnarly gnarlington Sunday.


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Look What Came In the Mail!!!

Well look at that, I got a whole weeks worth of blog posts in. Hot damn!

In even more exciting news (for me at least) yesterday I received my order from Noble Knight Games. I've already started digging into the Player's Guide and trying to get them creative juices flowing so I can get a Deadlands: Reloaded game started ASAP.

I've written about this before but the classic Deadlands was where I got my very first start as a Game Master, and the picture of Roland, the undead gunslinger on the book cover was what inspired the Zombiecowboy moniker I still use today. In some ways this sort of feels like I've come full circle. To quote Darth Vader, "When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the Master".

Ok, that was cheesy. But I feel like a kid in a candy store right now. Anyway, hopefully I can keep the blogging momentum up. I'm sure I'm going to have some thoughts to write about on these recently acquired book. Till then, Zombiecowboy out.


Friday, January 18, 2013

My Simplified Version Of D&D


Yesterday I taught and ran my french class through a simplified version of D&D. You can read all about it HERE. Today I wanted to talk about some of the things I learned and present my version of “D&D” that I showed them.

Lessons Learned
The first thing I learned was that I should have gone into this thing with a pile of pre-generated characters. Creating characters even in my simplified version of the game was a nightmare. This was due in part to the fact that it was difficult for me to articulate the process only in french and because even if I had been doing it in english I probably wasn’t explaining things as clear as I needed too.

Secondly I should have made a cheat sheet prepared to showcase what a character could do in a scene/combat and what the  steps/actions in scene/combat are. All in all things went fairly smoothly and people had fun so I would consider the game a success and I'm happy for the most part with the results.

The Game System
When I first decided to run a D&D game I really struggled with what rules set I should use. My biggest concern was with translating what ever system I was using to french. This is a french class and the goal is to practice speaking properly. After a fairly exhaustive search I settled on the french version of EpĂ©es & Sorcellerie. However after a bit of reading I decided that even this might be too complicated for my group. In the end I ended up using it more as a reference book for learning the right french translations and creating my simplified system. After reading it I really liked Épees & Sorcellerie I could see myself playing this with another group one day.

Zombiecowboy's Fantasy RPG Rules Set

Heres my simplified “D&D” rules. Read em, use em, let me know what you think of em in the comments.

Character Creation

Step 1: Think of what you want to play.

Imagine a character from a favourite book, film, or TV series.

Step 2: Choose ability scores.


Take the numbers below and put them into the 6 ability scores Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma in the order that best suits your character concept.

18 (+3), 14 (+2), 11(+1), 10 (0), 10 (0), 8 (-1)


Step 3: Choose a race from below.

  • Human: +2 racial bonus to a specific task of choice (skill, weapon, spellcasting)

  • Elf: +2 racial bonus to spellcasting rolls or attacks with bows.

  • Halfling: +2 racial bonus to ranged attacks, or 1d6 sneak attack (stacks with thief class sneak attack bonus).

  • Dwarf: +2 racial bonus to attacks with axes and verses poisons.

Step 4: Choose a class from below.

  • Fighter: Starts with 30 hit points + Constitution Modifier, +2 Bonus on all attacks.

  • Cleric: Starts with 24 hit points + Constitution Modifier, ability to cast miracles (spells).

  • Wizard: Starts with 12 hit points + Constitution Modifier, ability to cast spells.

  • Thief: Starts with 18 hit points + Constitution Modifier, 1d6 sneak attack.

Step 5: Determine Armour Class (AC).


10 + Dexterity Modifier + Armour Bonus = AC


  • No Armour: Armour bonus +0 (If a wizard casts spells while wearing any sort of armour they take the amour bonus as a penalty to spellcasting checks).

  • Leather Armour: Armour bonus +2 (Thieves can wear leather armour without penalty, wearing heavier armour causes the thief to suffer the armour bonus as a penalty to sneaking and other thievery related activities).

  • Chain Mail: Armour bonus +4 (Clerics can wear chain mail or less armour without suffering penalties to spellcasting. wearing full plate causes the cleric to suffer the armour bonus as a penalty).

  • Full Plate Armour: Armour bonus +6 (Fighters can wear any armour they choose).

Rules of the Game
The rules are simple, but do require a certain amount of adjudication on the GM's part. Basically if it seems right, fun or cool and everyone is cool with it then go for it. These rules are essentially rough guidelines and should not be followed rigorously. They have not been rigorously play tested.

  • Determining Success/Failure: In order to make an attack, cast a spell, or attempt an action (climb a wall, sneak, make a perception check etc.) you roll a d20 and add the most appropriate ability modifier and any other bonuses/penalties that might apply based on class, race, or circumstance. (strength for attacks with weapons, dexterity for initiative or tumbling, intelligence for casting a wizard spell, wisdom for cleric miracles etc.) You succeed on a task if your result is 10 or higher.

  • Damage: Damage is determined by rolling a 1d6 and adding the appropriate ability modifier (strength for melee, dexterity for ranged attacks, Intelligence/Wisdom for wizard/cleric spells. All attacks regardless of weapon type or spell deal damage the same way.

  • Magic: There is no codified spell list. It's up to each person to come up with the spells their character can cast and it's up to the GM and player to adjudicate how they work exactly. For example if a character wants to turn invisible they spend an action and turn invisible. Attack spells require an attack roll and on a success deal 1d6 damage plus intelligence for a wizard or wisdom for a cleric. Area effect spells allow for a saving throw (A successful save is a 10 or higher on a d20 roll) for all targets in the area. Some spells like paralysis allow for an opposed roll between the spell caster and target. The highest result plus modifiers wins the contest.

  • Actions in Combat: Characters can perform 1 action (attack, cast a spell, etc.) and make a move of 6 squares. Or a character can run for twelve squares and end their turn. Any other reasonable or logical actions a character could do within that basic frame work could be attempted on GM approval.